The color of Roses
by Lily Potter4
Summary: You don't choose who you fall in love with ... l/j
1. Default Chapter

The color of roses

The color of roses

  
  


**I held you close to me**

  
  


I looked at James across the room. He was the most gorgeous thing to grace this earth. But he would never be interested in me. Guys like James don't go out with girls like Lily.

  
  


**Once in a distant dream**

**Far from the shores of my fear**

  
  


James looked down at his paper. He couldn't concentrate. Lily was talking quietly with her best friend , Saree . They were both some of the most popular girls in the school. So why was it that , when every other girl swooned at his feet , Lily wouldn't...

  
  


**I sailed on this ocean**

**Where all I imagined could happen**

**And now you are here**

  
  


I can't do this ! I have to let go ! But letting go is so hard ...

  
  


**It is so hard to touch **

**What is out of our hands**

**To know , and to trust**

**What the heart understands**

  
  


James liked Lily. He had always been her friend , from day one. But as soon as he began to realize he wanted more than friendship , he had backed off. Their brother / sister relationship was down around ignoring each other. Lily didn't know , but he thought she could sense it. And when he stopped hanging around her , she thought he was mad at her. He wasn't ...

  
  


**Only the ones who believe**

**Ever see what they dream**

**Ever dream what comes true**

  
  


This is so infuriating ! Why should I like James ? He has been one of my best friends from the very first day. We told each other everything ! So why all of a sudden did he begin to ignore me ? He knew. He knew and he wanted to discourage it. God Lily , you are so stupid !

  
  


**Life gives us magic**

**And life gives us tragedy**

**Everyone suffers somewhat**

  
  


Lily . Lily Evans. Lily Potter ... ? No that would never happen. Lily went out with guys like Sirius. Handsome , Quidditch player , popular ... James knew he was all of those things , but he lacked something that Sirius had. He didn't know what , but something wasn't there.

  
  


**Still we have faith in it**

**Child like hope**

**There's a reason that outweighs the cause**

  
  


It's really confusing sometimes. When our heart tells us one thing , and our head tells us something else. I glanced down at my paper , and began to doodle. Not realizing what I had done , I had begun to write "Lily Potter". I quickly charmed it off , hoping no one had seen. 

  
  


**And gravity throws **

**All these rules in our way**

**And sometimes the spirit**

**Refuses to play**

  
  


James sighed. It wasn't fair ! He looked at Lily again , she had a far off look in her eyes as she doodled mindlessly on her paper. Lily ... Doodling ? It didn't fit some how. Ms. Lily Evans , Ms. I get great marks Lily Evans. Ms. Head Girl Lily Evans. James wondered who she was thinking of ...

  
  


**Only the ones who believe**

**Ever see what they dream**

**Ever dream what comes true**

  
  


I had a really weird dream last night. All I could see were flashes. A wedding , a baby , a house and then there was a flash of green light , and it all disappeared. I could hear a woman screaming in the background , about what I didn't know. But I had woken up with tears wetting my face , not knowing what I had been crying about.

  
  


**And oh love**

**Turn me around in your arms**

**And in this dream we share**

**Let us know one kiss**

  
  


James leaned back in his chair. He was going out with Aimee Grant , a Ravenclaw , and he was in love with Lily. James knew he had rep for that kind of thing , but this was going a bit far. He could hit himself for falling for Lily , but something in her eyes changed that felling each time she looked at him. Her eyes were so green , you could get lost in them. 

  
  


**And add my regret**

**To the tears in the rain**

  
  


I looked at James , who was leaning back comfortably in his chair. Every bit the typical guy. James was going out with Aimee , one of the prettiest girls in the year. Much prettier than me. God James , sometimes you are so lost in the forest , you cant see the trees. Why can't you just wake up and see what's in front of you ?

  
  


**That's what **

**The color of roses contain**

  
  


James smiled to himself , thinking about all the good time he had with Lily. Pushing her in the lake , her pulling him right in with him , painting Ms .Norris , playing tricks on the Slytherins ... I wish ... But that was all over now. Stupid Lily , why did you let me fall in love with you ? 

  
  


**Only the ones who believe**

**Ever see what they dream**

**Ever dream...**

  
  


And the two sat on opposite sides of the room , each wishing , and hoping for the same thing ... and never knowing.

  
  


**Ever dream ...**

**What comes true**

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	2. Default Chapter

Work Robes in hand  
She leaves home in the early morning  
  
  
"Bye James! I have to go to training!"  
"Bye honey!"  
"I'll see you when I get home!"  
"Hope you are home early!"  
"I'll do my best!"  
  
  
Waving goodbye   
with an absent minded smile  
  
  
I was so lucky to have Lily. She was always so nice to everyone, even the Slytherins, unless they did something to her. Just like I did. I was horrible to her in the beginning.  
  
  
" Hey Evans"  
""Hey Potter"  
"You are looking very carroty today."  
"Oh shut up Potter"  
"You shut up Evans"  
"Oh be quiet Mr. I - Am - So - Good"  
"Well, if the name fits..."  
"Ha. I am better than you at almost every subject"  
"Marks, ha! You couldn't fly if your life depended on it. And that's what matters"  
"I could fly if I wanted to. I just don't."  
"Yeah whatever. You are an ugly loser who can't fly"  
"Oh shut up 4 eyes"  
  
  
He was horrible to her. He shook his head in shame. He and Lily had fallen in love eventually, and she was very good to him. But lately she had been acting a bit ....different.  
  
  
I watch her go  
With a surge of that well known silence  
And I have to stand for a while  
  
  
"Hey prongs"  
"Hey padfoot"  
"So, what's shaking"  
"Nothing really. Just thinking about Lily"  
"Oh? What's wrong? You look concerned"  
"She's just been acting a bit differently . Like she is afraid of every little thing. Even of me"  
"Oh no! I think I noticed that too"  
"Do you think.."  
"Nah Prongs. That would never happen."  
  
  
  
  
The feeling that I'm losing her forever  
And without ever entering at all  
I'm glad whenever I can share her laughter  
That funny little girl  
  
  
"James! You have the biggest crush on Lily! Don't even bother trying to deny it."  
"Me, like Evans! You are joking right?"  
"Nah"  
"What are you talking about? You two are going out? Why would you say that?"  
"I know. I just think you like her"  
"Whatever..."  
But he had been right. He had liked her. He had since the first day, but he had been to stupid to realize it.  
  
  
Slipping through my fingers all the time  
I try and capture every minute  
The feeling in it  
  
  
"Honey! I'm home!"  
"Very funny Lily. That sounded like something out of leave it to Walrus"  
"Leave it to beaver."  
"Eh, same difference."  
"I picked up some ice cream. You want some?"  
"Sure! What kind?"  
" Peanut Butter Coconut"  
"Ew!"  
"It tastes great! What are you talking about?'  
"Just taste it , James"  
"Fine"  
"Hey Lily, Hey Prongs. Prongs what are you doing?"  
Lily answered. " He's eating all my ice cream"  
"Yum! What flavour?"  
"Peanut Butter Coconut"  
"Ew!"  
"That's what he said. I made him try it, and now he won't let me have any"  
"Bad, Bad Prongs"  
"Hey, it's tasty. I can't resist"  
Sirius looked at Lily.  
Lily was looking at James with - disgust?  
  
  
Slipping through my fingers all the time  
Do I really see what's in her mind  
Each time I think I've crossed to knowing  
She keeps on growing  
Slipping through my fingers all the time  
  
  
"Ummm, Lily?"  
"Yes Sirius?"  
"Could I talk to you for a minute? Privately?"  
James looked up at Sirius, questions written all over his face.  
"Uh, sure Sirius"  
He led her out of the room.  
"Lily, are you all right?"  
"But of course. Why?"  
"James has noticed that you have been acting differently. And so have I. And you were just looking at him like you couldn't believe you were here with him - in a bad way."  
"Oh Sirius. I'm - I'm-"  
"Yes?"  
She whispered in his ear. A grin spread across his face.  
"Oh James isn't going to take this very well."   
  
  
James sat at the table, wondering what on earth was going on.  
  
  
It was Christmas Morning at Hogwarts. They were all sitting at the Gryffindor table, 5 of the 6 of them, the only ones there from Gryffindor.  
"James, do you know where Lily is?"  
"No Emilie, I don't"  
"Maybe we should check. She just said she was going to get dressed, and that was half and hour ago. Breakfast is almost ov-"  
But Lily walked in, looking as though she had just woke up. Her hair was almost a birds nest, her green eyes cloudy.  
"Oh Lil, what's wrong?"  
"James, I just realized this was the first Christmas I haven't spent with my parents. And they aren't there for me to -"  
Her parents had died last year on Boxing Day. Christmas was a lonely time for her.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Sleep in her eyes  
Her and Me at the breakfast table  
Barely awake  
As the precious time goes by  
Then when she's gone  
there's that off melancholy feeling  
a feeling so acute I can't deny  
  
  
He had to talk to Lily. Something was going on. What if she wasn't in love with him any more. That seemed like the most likely objective. But he hoped it wasn't so. He couldn't bear to lose her.  
  
  
What happened to the wonderful adventures  
The places I had planned for us to go  
Some we did, but most we didn't  
Why I just don't know  
  
  
"Lily! You aren't concentrating!"  
"I'm sorry Professor. I just can't - kill something. Spider or not."  
"Then you shouldn't be an auror."  
"No . That's not what I mean Professor Dumbledore"  
"Then what do you mean?"  
She glanced around at the other Aurors who were there for training. They all looked very interested.  
She whispered something to Dumbledore.  
"Does James know?"  
"I can't tell him. I don't know how."  
  
  
Slipping through my fingers all the time  
I try to capture every minute  
The feeling in it  
Slipping through my fingers all the time  
  
  
"James, I have to talk to you. It's important."  
He thought he knew what was coming.  
"Ok." His voice sounded like ice.  
She winced.  
"Honey, I'm - you're. Oh, I don't know how to say this."  
So she wanted a divorce. That was obvious.  
  
  
Do I really see what's in her mind  
Each time I think I've crossed to knowing  
She keeps on growing  
Slipping through my fingers all the time  
  
  
"James, you are going-"  
  
  
  
  
Work Robes in hand  
She leaves home in the early morning  
Waving goodbye  
With an absent minded smile  
"Spit it out Lily." His voice was still cold.  
"James, you're going to be a father."  



End file.
